


Do You Expect Me To Talk?

by tessarion



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra suffers yet another indignity, F/F, Fluff, I don't actually know the original He-Man canon, I just inserted references based on stuff I looked up online, Lap cat, One-Shot, Post-Canon, The Squad fights crime!, This started as a joke on a She-Ra discord server, and spun out control from there, the things we do for love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tessarion/pseuds/tessarion
Summary: Sometimes bringing magic back to the universe requires busting up a crime ring, and sometimes that requires masquerading as a villain.  Fortunately, Adora knows exactly the thing to make it a convincing act...
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 148





	Do You Expect Me To Talk?

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a joke on the She-Ran fan server I'm on about Catra being Adora's lap cat, and naturally my mind instantly went to Bond villains. Enjoy!

Catra hated this plan. _Hated_ it. Sure, she thought there was a good chance it would work, but still, that didn’t mean she had to like it. 

She groaned as she, Adora, and the rest of the squad, walked into the lush office that had previously belonged to one Shokkoti, who apparently was somewhat of a local power player, specializing in the trafficking of sentients and weapons dealing. This office--along with many of her other belongings--had been forfeited when She-Ra had aided the planet’s authorities in subduing her; the villainess herself, meanwhile, was awaiting justice in the Courts of Antares. Good riddance, thought Catra. She may have done some terrible things when she was in the Horde, but trading in slaves would've been morally unacceptable to her, even then. 

To be fair, Adora nor the rest of the crew had never intended to get mixed up in local politics--their mission was simply to bring magic back to the rest of the universe, and hopefully learn more about the First Ones in the process. But, the Best Friends Squad being what they were, it was inevitable that when injustice was encountered, they’d spring into action to fight it. Antares wasn’t the first planet this had happened on, and, for better or worse, almost certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

The plan was a simple one, with a simple motivation: the authorities knew Shokoti had been importing slave laborers from off-world, but didn’t know the identity of her primary contact responsible. Since Shokkoti was rarely seen in person, and news of her arrest was being kept quiet until her trial was formally announced in a few days, Adora would impersonate the lady of crime. After hopefully gathering enough evidence from the recorded conversation, the rest of the squad would capture the contact. 

“Alright, we’ve got five minutes until...whoever this is...gets here,” Adora said quietly, referring to the would-be crime lord that they were hoping to get the drop on. “Places, everyone!” She sat down in the overstuffed office chair behind an imposing desk of thick, dark wood that had been polished to a shine. Bow and Glimmer snuck to a corner of a room, Melog trailing them close behind. As soon as they reached their positions, Melog shimmered, and all three of them vanished from sight under the arcane beast’s veil. 

“Catra, c’mon! Get into position!” Adora hissed under her breath. “We don’t have much more time.”

“Do I _really_ have to?” Catra complained. “I mean, wouldn’t Melog be better suited for this, anyway?”

“Maybe, but we need him to hide the others. I need to look like a believable villain, and you know what that means! Besides, you do this all the time at home or on the ship.” 

“That’s different!” Catra protested with a snarl, before catching herself and breathing deep. “Fine,” she said with ears flattened in irritation, “but you owe me _big_ for this, you understand? And I’m only doing this because I love you.” 

She walked over to Adora, and with no small degree of awkwardness, proceeded to curl up as best she could in her girlfriend’s lap. The embarrassment of the situation was slightly offset by the feeling of Adora’s hand resting gently on her head. 

“ _So_ cute!” Bow whispered excitedly from behind Melog’s cloak of invisibility, swiftly followed by a hush from Glimmer. There was a knock at the door. 

“Enter!” Adora said, pitching her voice slightly lower in an attempt to sound more villainous. They hadn’t had time to get her a different outfit, so, as usual, she was in one of her Horde-vintage shirts, black pants, and her ever-present red jacket--though Glimmer at at least endeavored to put Adora’s hair up, in attempt to make her look more “evil.”

The door opened, and, on cue, Adora spun around in the chair to face the newcomer, who turned out to be a tall, solidly built man in an orange tunic and elaborate red coat, with a neatly trimmed goatee. “I’ve been expecting you, ah…”

“Count Marzo,” the man responded with eyes slightly scrunched, clearly a little annoyed at ‘Shokkoti’s’ lapse of memory. “It’s nice to meet Antares’ Queen of Crime in the flesh.”

“...yes, of course, Count Marzo. I do believe you’re here to personally confirm our, ah, little transaction, are you not?” Adora continued, stroking Catra’s head. Fortunately, the latter had closed her eyes, so Marzo was unlikely to see her rolling her eyes at Adora’s inevitable hamminess. 

(Adora would never have to know that Catra’s purring was genuine, of course.)

“Right, yes, the shipment of laborers from Omrios. I can give you 10,000 ducats for them, as per the standard rate.”

“Yes, I do believe that will be...satisfactory,” Adora replied, drawing out her words like melted cheese on bread. Then, for good measure, she threw in her best villainous laugh, “Mwahahahaha.” 

“Good, I’ll be making the drop at Faneros Star Harbor tomorrow morning at 0600 sharp, whether you’re there or not. Look for the ship with the orange and black livery, and--” Count Marzo suddenly stopped and looked perplexed. “Uh, this may not be my place to ask, but is there a reason your pet is wearing clothes?”

Adora briefly fumbled for an answer, since somehow she knew ‘Because Catra would literally murder all of us if I made her strip naked for this’ wasn’t the correct response. “Uh, I mean...is it not custom, on your world? For animals to be clothed, um, lest they, uh foster indecency among the populace?” 

“No. No, it’s not. Can’t say I’ve ever seen it here, either, for that matter.” Count Marzo was now gazing suspiciously at the two of them, a situation that wasn’t helped by Catra’s increasing squirming.

“Well, I can assure you that it is a long-held tradition here on Ether--I mean, Antares. It’s, uh, a sign of wealth, even! This is a pedigreed Domesticated Lap-Catra, and it, it wouldn’t do but to have her in the, uh, finest garments!”

“Screw this! I have too much dignity for this, damn it!” Catra shouted, and launched on herself towards the bewildered man, claws fully extended. “Oh no,” Adora said faintly, sighing before extending her right arm outward. “Might as well get this over with quickly. For the HONOR OF--”

* * *

As the Best Friend Squad packed up the ship for their next destination, the leader of the planet, a teenage boy styled as Prince Joel, came with his retinue to personally thank them for their service to the people of Antares. After all, not only had they helped restore magic, something thought forever lost to the ages, they’d also helped take down one of the planet’s biggest trafficking rings. 

(The meeting had been short, after Catra made it _very_ clear to the young prince that Adora was taken, thank you very much, and there would be no proposals to “strengthen the bond of friendship between our two worlds” via strategic marriage). 

“Well, let’s never do that again,” Catra spoke plainly to the other three. 

“Oh, c’mon, you know you had fun!” Bow exclaimed. “Who knows, maybe we’ll get to do it again on the next planet!”

“Fine. But next time, _you_ get to be the one in _Glimmer’s_ lap, and see how you like it,” Catra said punctuating her remark with a stuck-out tongue.

The bright crimson blush on Bow’s face almost made the whole experience worth it.


End file.
